Two 26 Year Olds - One Disease - One Hope - Recovery

Contrasts - The week began working to help friends and family members of a 26 year old woman dying from the disease of addiction. They were trying to get her into treatment. She bolted into the dark two days ago after reaching a point three-five blood alcohol level earlier in the day. Her father had called me on my cell today asking if he should file a missing person's report with the police. Shortly after finishing that call I was sitting in the stands at a girls college basketball game. As I glanced around the crowd a face jumped out at me. She was sitting one row behind me and few feet to my left. She didn't recognize me, but I remembered her face. She was 26 years old, smiling, and healthy. She had been in an Early Recovery Treatment Group I had facilitated two months ago. What a contrast. I'm thankful for the reminder that treatment works and recovery is possible.

Intervention

The term intervene comes from the Latin word intervenire which is the combining of "inter" which means between, and "venire" which means to come. To intervene is to come between. The purpose or intent of intervening is to modify the outcome.

Substance addiction is a brain disease that is chronic and progressive. Chronic and progressive means it will not go into remission on its own and it will only get worse. The ultimate outcome to substance addiction if left to its own course is death.

When someone conducts an intervention for a loved one suffering from addiction they are attempting to place themselves between the one they love and the ultimate outcome of addiction with the hope of modifying the outcome. They are attempting to do whatever it takes to move their loved one to accept the treatment that will save their life. The unique thing about addiction as a brain disease is that part of the disease is that we don't believe we have it. Part of successfully intervening (coming between) is presenting our loved one with a constant and consistent message, "I love you, you are sick, if you don't get treatment you will die, and because I love you I will do whatever it takes to help you recognize this fact."

While an intervention may look like an event, it is really a process of changing how we relate to our loved one. Our day to day actions communicate what we believe and part of the process of intervening includes modifying our actions so they align with what we are saying, "I love you, you are sick, if you don't get treatment you will die, and because I love you I will do whatever it takes to help you recognize this fact." If we truly believe that statement, we cannot continue to engage in, "normal everyday activities" that communicate that nothing is really wrong, when in reality EVERYTHING is wrong and if they don't get into treatment they will die.

Interventions are not easy, but they are worth it, because your loved one is worth it.

If you have questions please don't hesitate to call 616.396.5284 or email me at richc@oar-inc.org.

Rich Campbell, MSW, MA, LMSW, ADS
Family Therapist and Community Specialist

Uncomfortable

By Rich Campbell

The reception line was long, another person taken by addiction, another family left in their grief. It looked like the entire community might be showing up for the visitation to support the family. As I looked at the faces of those filing into the room I could see the pain in each person's face, which was expected, but there was also a sense of discomfort in the air.

As I stood, waiting for my turn to "pay my respects" several thoughts raced through my head. What should I say? What were the other people going to say? I wondered where all of us were prior to the event that had called us all here? Why is it that we - the crowd - don't usually show up until the, "conclusion" of the crisis? What if we all would have come together 5 or 6 months ago, or even years ago when the family's battle with addiction first began? What kept us away? We don't understand addiction, or we have misinformation about it, so we don't want to talk about it or hear about it. The topic makes us uncomfortable. Talking about pain and people seeking relief is uncomfortable. But I was uncomfortable being at a funeral, the likes of which is repeated multiple times a day, everyday, throughout our communities, for the exact same reason - addiction has taken yet another life. Personally I would rather face the uncomfortable discussion of why our friends and family members become addicted and how to help them into recovery rather than the uncomfortable moment of trying to figure out what to say to the parents or spouse of the person who just died as a result of addiction. I heard, "God decided to take them home" too many times to count. I wanted to scream, "It was the addiction that took them! Not God! God in His mercy received them, but it was the addiction that took this person's life." As I looked a the faces in the room it struck me that based upon the national average, a third of the people in the room would face some form of struggle with addiction.

The truth is we, as a community, enabled addiction to succeed because our uncomfortableness wins out over the need to talk about preventing and treating addiction. In the past decade we've heard a lot about the war on drugs, let's make the next decade a war on addiction. If you're not sure where to start, begin by learning about addiction. If you think someone you know might be struggling with substance abuse or addiction, don't wait until it's too late. Talk to them, tell them you care. If you're not sure what to say or how to bring up your concerns, call me at 616.396.5284 or email me at richc@oar-inc.org. I can give you some ideas and answer your questions.

The solution to our fear is our conviction to the cause. Please join the fight.

"Got Milk?"

by Robin Afrik


I have seen a man
Completely on his knees
Desperate
For another drink
A drop of liquor
To make his tongue sing!
To calm his mind
To give him faith
To help him escape the torture of this world


And I have seen a man
Dressed in a business suit
Unashamed—coming completely undone
Before a crowd of people
Strangers who they know not
Having only one thing on his mind
Drinking unashamed from the cup
Or the tap of life giving water



I watch while
His soul is being quenched
By this elixir
His body cannot sustain in this world
With out depending on this
Day to day—hour by hour
Minute by minute
He
Comes undone
Naked
Vulnerable
Before the power of his dependence


And


I have also seen a man
Completely on his knees
Desperate
For another drink
Of the Holy Spirit
Just a drop of his presence
To make his tongue sing!
To calm his mind
To give him faith
To help him escape the torture of this world


And I have seen a man
Dressed in a business suit
Unashamed-coming completely undone
Before a crowd of people
Strangers who they know not
Having only one thing on his mind
Drinking unashamed from the cup
Of the tap of the life giving water


I watch while
His soul is being quenched
By the Holy Spirit
His body cannot sustain in this world
With out depending on this
Day to day-hour by our
Minute by minute
He comes undone (before the Lord)
Naked
Vulnerable
Before the power of his dependence
On God

Addictive Behaviors

'We continually create a world that accommodates addictive behaviors. In fact, we derive success on being co-dependant of addictive behaviors or- things that can easily fall into behaviors turning addictive." R.A.

“I thought they were smarter than that…”

That was the statement made by someone when it was discovered

that a mutual acquaintance was in the late chronic stages of substance addiction and might very well die from the disease. The implication was that “smart people” don’t succumb to the disease of addiction. The statement drove home to me just how much misunderstanding there is around the phenomenon of addiction. Substance addiction is a brain disease – it has been recognized as such for over 50 years by the medical sciences. The idea (logic) that a high IQ or an advanced academic degree will somehow protect a person from succumbing to addiction is no sounder than saying the same would protect a person from the flu or cancer. Diseases simply do not work that way. Addiction, like cancer, is an opportunistic disease that is no respecter of race, gender, age, years of school, IQ, or annual income. It is a brain disease.

The Façade of Wholeness

What does it feel like to be whole?

We are much more familiar with what it feels like to have something missing in our lives. There is always something we want or desire and more often than not, the object of our desire is not within our control. Yet we have determined in our minds that if we could just possess that one thing (success, better friends, a relationship, etc.) life would then be good. We would feel whole.

A better question would be what does it feel like to be content?